1.Manusia Super Update
Kapanpun dan dimanapun update status. Status nya ga panjang2 amat..tp terlihat bikin risih, krn hal2 yg ga terlalu penting jg dia publikasikan
Cth: “Lagi makan di restoran A..”, “Dlm perjalanan menuju neraka..”, “Saatnya baca koran..”, dsb

2.Manusia Melankolis
Biasanya dia curhat di status. Entah karena ingin byk diberi komentar dr tmn2nya atau hanya sekedar menuangkan unek2nya ke fb, tp biasanya org tipe ini menceritakan kisahnya n terkadang menanyakan solusi yg terbaik kepada yg laen
Cth: “Kamu sakitin aku..lebih baik aku cari yg lain..”, “Cuma kamu yg terbaik buat aku..terimakasih km sdh syg ama aku selama ini..”, dsb

3.Manusia Tukang Ngeluh
Ga pagi, ga siang, ga malem, ga dikasih ujan, ga dikasih panas, ga dikasih uang, ga dikasih makan, pokonya semuanya dia keluhkan..   Cth: ” Jakarta maceeet..!! Panas pula..”, “Aaaargh ujan, pdahal baru nyuci mobil..sialan..!!”, “Males ngapa2in.. cape hati gara2 si do’i..”, dsb

4.Manusia Sombong
Mgkn bbprp dr mrk ga niat menyombongkan diri, tp terkadang org yg baca, yg notabene tdk bs seberuntung dia, merasa kalo statusnya itu kelewat sombong, dan malah bikin sebel
Cth : “Otw ke Paris ..!!”, “BMW ku syg, saatnya km mandi..aku mandiin ya syg..”, dsb

5.Manusia Puitis
Dari judulnya udah jelas. Status nya selalu diisi kata2 mutiara, tp ga jelas maksudnya. Bikin kita terharu? Bikin kita sadar atas pesan tersembunyi nya? atau sekedar memancing komentar? Sampai saat ini, tipe org spt ini msh dipertanyakan
Cth : “Kt msg2 adlh malaikat bersayap satu. Dan hanya bisa terbang bila saling berpelukan”, “Mencintai dan dicintai adlh spt merasakan sinar matahari dari kedua sisi”,   “Jika kau hidup sampai seratus tahun, aku ingin hidup seratus tahun kurang sehari, agar aku tidak pernah hidup tanpamu”,dsb

6.Manusia in English
Orgnya bisa spt apa saja, apakah melankolis, puitis, sombong dsb. Tp dia berusaha lbh keren dgn menulis dlm bhsa Inggris
Cth: “Tie and Chair..”, “I can tooth, you Pink sun..” dsb

7. Alay..
Updatenya gaul2..dan bhs dewa..ejaan yg dialaykan
Cth..” met moulnin all.. pagiiieh yg cewrah… xixiixi” << lol~

8. Obsesi
Ngarep..tp ga kesampaian.. pengen jd artis ga dapat2..dll
Cth: duwh… sesi pemotretan lagi! cape..

9. Sok Tau
Sotoy tenarnya..
Cth: pemerintah slalu memanjakan Rakyatnya..bla..bla…bla…pdahal ga taw apa yg ditulis

10.Bioskop Mania
Update film yg abis ditonton dan kasih comment
Cth: ICE AGE 3..REcomended!

11.Tipe Pedagang
Cth: “jual sepatu bla bla bla”

12. Tipe Penyuluh Masyarakat
Cth: “jgn lupa dateng ke TPS, 5 menit utk 5 tahun bla..bla”

13. Pengguna Fb Tipe Kaskuser
Baru online ‘PERTAMAXXXX GAN!’… 5 menit lagi ‘kalo berkenan cendolnya donk gannn’…. 1 jam lagi ‘aduh sial gagal pertamax di trid sendiri’…… beberapa jam lagi ‘YES GW UDAH ISO2000′, trus nawarin ‘bagi2 cendol gratiss di kaskus ngerayain ISO ‘ kalo online pagi ‘pagi2 enaknya ngaskus gan!’, ‘tidur telat bangun pagi2 nyalain komputer ngaskus lagi’ Dan masukan lain yang tentunya jadi status of the year..

14.Manusia Alay …(gak jelas maunya)
Macam versi,dari tulisannya yg aneh, atau biasa aja, hanya saja kosakata nya ga lazim..ato mungkin ada yg fusion..
Alay1 : “DucH Gw4 5aYan9 b6t s4ma Lo..7aNgaN tin69aL!n akYu ya B3!bh..!!”   Alay2 : “Km mugh kog gag pernach ngabwarin aq lagee seech? kmuw maseeh saiangs sama aq gag seech sebenernywa?”   Alay3 : “Ouh mY 9oD..!! kYknY4w c gW k3ReNz 48ee5h d3ch..!!” (Khusus buat tipe ini, ga usah di baca juga gpp..saya pribadi juga mikir dulu buat nulis ini, walaupun jadinya kurang mirip sama yg aslinya..)

15.Tipe Hidden Message
(1 lagi yg kepikiran ama saya gan..)
Biasanya ga to the point, tp tentunya berniat org yg dituju membaca nya,bagus kalo baca..kalo ngga? kelamaan nunggu, pdhal lgsg aja sms ya..
Cth: “For you my M***, I can’t live without you..you are my bla bla bla..”, “Heh, cewe bajingan..ngapain lo deket2in co gw?! kyk ga laku aja lo..” <<< (pdhl ce tsb ga jadi friend nya..mana bisa baca)

16.Tipe Misterius
Biasanya bikin byk org bertanya tanya atas apa maksud statusnya. Dlm suatu kalimat lazim terdiri Subjek+Predikat+Objek+Keterangan. Tp org tipe mgkn hanya mengambil bbrp atau malah hanya 1 saja. Dan pastinya mengundang kontroversi.
Cth: “Sudahlah..”, “Telah berakhir..” <<< (apanya??), "Termenung..."

A
AAMOF : As A Matter Of Fact
ADctd2uv : Addicted to Loves
AFAIK : As Far As I Know
AFAIC : As Far As I’m Concerned
AFAICT : As Far As I Can Tell
AFK : Away From Keyboard
AKA : Also known as
ALlWanIsU : All I want is You
AML : All my love
ASAP : As Soon As Possible
ATB : All the best
ATW : At the weekend
AWHFY : Are we having fun yet

B
B4 : Before
BBFN : Bye Bye for now
BBS : Be back soon
BBSD : Be back soon darling
BCNU : Be seein’ you
BF : Boy Friend
BGWM : Be gentle with me
BMW : Be my wife
BAK : Back At Keyboard
BBL : Be Back Later
BITMT : But In The Meantime
BOT : Back On Topic
BRB : Be Right Back
BTW : By the way

C
C4N : Ciao For Now
CM : Call me
CMIIW : Correct Me If I’m Wrong
C`mon : Come On
CP : Cross-Posting
CRS : Can’t Remember “Stuff”
CU : See You
CUIMD : See you in my dreams
CUL8R : See You Later
CWOT : Complete Waste Of Time
CYA : See Ya

D
DIY : Do It Yourself
Dk : Don’t know
Dur? : Do you remember
Dunno : Don’t Know
DTMMB? : Dare To Mail Me Back?

E
E2EG : Ear to ear grin
EOD : End Of Discussion
EOL : End of lecture
EZ : Easy

F
F? : Friends
F2F : Face To Face
F2T : Free to talk
FAQ : Frequently Asked Questions
FBOW : For Better Or Worse
FITB : Fill in the Blank
FOAF : Friend Of A Friend
FOCL : Falling Off Chair Laughing
FU : For You
FWIW : For What It’s Worth
FYA : For Your Amusement
FYEO : For your eyes only
FYI : For Your Information
FYG : For Your Good

G
/ga : Go Ahead
GAL : Get A Life
GBTW : Get Back To Work
GF : Girlfirend
GFC : Going For Coffee
GFETE : Grinning From Ear To Ear
GG : Good Game
GMTA : Great minds think alike
Googling : Searching in Google Search Engine
Gr8 : Great
GR&D : Grinning, Running & Ducking
GSOH : Good Salary, Own Home
GTG : Got To Go
GTGTTBR : Got To Go To The Bathroom
GTRM : Going To Read Mail
GTSY : Glad to see you

H
H2cus : Hope to see you soon
H8 : Hate
HAGN : Have a good night
HAND : Have A Nice Day
HHOK : Ha Ha Only Kidding
HldMeCls : Hold me close
HRU? : How Are You?
HTH : Hope This Helps
Ht4U : Hot for You
H&K : Hugs and Kisses

I
IAC : In Any Case
IAE : In Any Event
IC : I See
IDGI : I Don’t Get It
IDK : I dont know
IIRC : If I Recall Correctly
ILU : I love You
IMBL : It must be Love
IMCO : In My Considered Opinion
IMHO : In my humble opinion
IMI : I mean it
IMNSHO : in My Not So Humble Opinion
IMO : In My Opinion
IMPE : In My Personal Experience
IMU :I Miss You
IMVHO : In My Very Humble Opinion
INU : I Need You
IOW : In Other Words
IOU : I owe you
IRL : In Real Life
ISO : In Search Of
ISP : Internet Service Provider
IUSS : If you say so
IWU : I Want You
IYKWIM : If You Know What I Mean

J
J4F : Just for fun
JstCllMe : Just call Me
JAI : Just An Idea
JIC : Just In Case
JOT : Jump Out To
J/K : Just kidding

K
KC : Keep cool
KHUF : know how you feel
KISS : Keep It Simple Stupid
KIT : Keep in touch
KOTC : Kiss on the cheek
KOTL : Kiss On The Lips

L
L8TR : Later
LD : Later dude
LMAO : Laughing My Ass Off
LOL : Laughing Out Loud
LTNS : Long Time No See
LtsGt2gthr : Lets get together
LUV : Love

M
M$ULkeCrZ : Miss you like Crazy!
M$$$ : Microsoft
M8 : Mate
MC : Merry Christmas
MGB : May God Bless
Mob : Mobile
MorF : Male or Female, or person who asks that question
MTCW : My Two Cents Worth
MYOB : Mind your own Business

N
NA : No access
NC : No comment
NOPE : NO
NRN : No Reply Necessary
NTMU : Nice to meet you
NOW : No way out

O
O4U : Only for you
OIC : Oh I See
OLL : Online Love
OMG : Oh, My God
ONNA : Oh No, Not Again!
OOT : Out Of Topic
OT : Off Topic
OTF : On The Floor
OTOH : On The Other Hand
OTTOMH : Off the top of my head

P
P2P : Peer To Peer
PCM : Please call me
PLS : Please
POV : Point Of View
PPL : People
PS : Post Scriptum; PostScript
PU : That Stinks!

Q
Qr : Query
Qst : Quest, Question
QT : Cutie

R
R : Are
REHI : Hello Again (re-Hi!)
Rgds : Regards
RMB : Ring my Bell
ROFL : Rolling On Floor Laughing
ROTF : Rolling On The Floor
ROTFL : Rolling On The Floor Laughing
ROTFLMAO : Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off
RSN : Real Soon Now
RTDox : Read The Documentation/Directions
RTFM : Read The Frickin’ Manual
RU? : Are you?
RUOK : Are You OK?

S
SC : Stay cool
SETE : Smiling Ear to Ear
SME : Some
SME1 : Some One
SNAFU : Situation Normal; All Fouled Up
SO : Significant Other
SOL : Smiling Out Loud (or Sh*t Out of Luck)
SRY : Sorry
SSIA : Subject Says It All
SWALK : Sent with a loving Kiss
SWG : Scientific Wild Guess

T
T+ : Think positive
T2Go : Time to Go
T2UL : Talk to you later
TANSTAAFL : There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch
TAFN : That’s All For Now
TBE : To Be Expected
TBH : To Be Honest
TBYB : Try Before You Buy
TDTU : Totally devoted to you
TEOTWAWKI : The End Of The World As We Know It
TFTT : Thanks For The Thought
THX : Thanks
TIA : Thanks In Advance
TIC : Tongue in Cheek
TIMTOWTDI : There Is More Than One Way To Do It
TMIY : Take me I’m yours
TINALO : This Is Not A Legal Opinion
TINAR : This Is Not A Recommendation
TLK2UL8R : Talk to you later
TMA : Take My Advice
TMK : To My Knowledge
TOS : Terms Of Service
TPTB : The Powers That Be
TSWC : Tell Someone Who Cares
TTBOMK : To The Best Of My Knowledge
TTFN : Ta-Ta For Now
TTYL8R : Talk To You Later
TWIMC : To Whom It May Concern
TYVM : Thank You Very Much
TXS : Thanks

U
U : You
UR : You are
URL : Web Page Address
URS : Yours
URT1 : You are the one
UW : You Welcome

V
V : Victory
VOOT : Very Out Of Topic
VRI : Very

W
w/b : Welcome Back
w/o : Without
W2U : Welcome to you
W4U : Waiting for you
WAN2 : Want to
WBS : Write Back Soon
WLUMRyMe : Will you marry Me?
Wnt : Want
WOMBAT : Waste Of Money, Brains, And Time
WRT : With Regard To/ With Respect To
WTA : Want To Ask
WTB : Want To Buy
WTI : Want To Inform
WTS : Want To Sell
WTG : Way To Go
WU? : What’s Up?
WUWH : Wish you were here
WWW : World Wide Web
WYGIWYPF : What You Get Is What You Pay For
WYSIWYG : What You See Is What You Get

X
X : Kiss
X! : Typical Woman
XclusvlyUrs : Exclusively Yours
Xtra : Extra

Y
Y! : Typical Man
Y!M : Yahoo! Messenger
Y2K : Year 2000
YBS : You’ll be Sorry
YGIAGAM : Your Guess Is As Good As Mine
YGWYPF : You Get What You Pay For
YMMV : Your Mileage May Vary
Yup : Yes

Z
ZZZ : Sleeping

Pada suatu hari di suatu bar,
Masuklah seorang berpakaian perlente (sebut saja Bapak X)
Dan minum di bar tersebut.
Sang bartender melihat manusia keren tersebut tertarik,
Lalu membuka komunikasi Sbb…

Bartender : Apa Pekerjaan Bapak ?
Lalu Bapak X itu jawab :
“Ooooo saya adalah seorang LogicThinker”.
Si bartender bingung dan nanya :
“Apa itu pekerjaan logic thinker ?”
Bapak X njawab : Wah susah menerangkannya,
soalnya memang bukan pekerjaan yang lazim,
tapi saya akan kasih anda contoh saja, ok ?
Bartender : OK !

Bapak X : Begini, pertama-tama saya bertanya dulu,
Apakah anda punya akuarium ?
Bartender : O ya saya punya akuarium buesuaaarrr di rumah.
Bapak X : Nah kalo anda punya akuarium, logisnya anda punya ikan.
Bartender : O ya saya punya ikan berbagai jenis.
Bapak X : Nah kalo anda punya ikan, anda pasti sayang binatang.
Bartender : Oya betul sekali saya sangat sayang pada binatang
Bapak X : Kalo anda sayang binatang, apalagi pada anak anda !!
Anda pasti sangat menyayangi anak anda.
Bartender : Betul sekali (kegirangan)
saya mencintai anak saya lebih dari ikan.
Bapak X : Nah logisnya, jika punya anak, pasti punya istri.
Bartender : Anda kok tahu? saya memang punya istri cantik jelita.
Bapak X : Tentu saja saya tahu karena itu semua hanya logis saja.
Nah sekarang pertanyaan terakhir, jika anda punya istri dan anak,
berarti anda tidak impoten!!! betul ?
Bartender : 100% betul saya tidak impoten.
Bapak X : Nah begitulah kira-kira logic thinker itu.
Bartender : Ooo begitu tho? saya ngerti sekarang (sambil takjub)

Lalu setelah tamu itu pergi, datanglah Teman si bartender dan bertanya:
Teman : eh, kamu tadi kok asyik sekali omong apa ?
Bartender : Ooo tadi saya membahas profesi Logic Thinker
Teman : Apa itu Logic Thinker ?”
Bartender : Begini lho saya terangkan (lagaknya kumat)
Pertama-tama saya tanya dahulu, Kamu punya akuarium ndak ?
Teman : Ndak punya tuh ?
Bartender : (berseru dgn keras dan pasti)
BERARTI ANDA IMPOTEN !!!!